We come across situations in our lives when we feel irritated, frustrated, angry. Situations like traffic jams, argument with a coworker or a friend, disagreement with family or a loved one and the list goes on.
No matter how much we desire, not to have these negative emotions, we still encounter them. Imagine, you get a magic wand that can let you experience peace and joy in less than 60 seconds and that too on our own sweet will. Sounds like a miracle, isn’t it?
Let me share my magic wand and its secrets with you.
1. Tapping into your own version of virtual reality
To explain how it works, I want you to do a small exercise. Close your eyes and visualize a place where you feel joy, peace, love, and happiness. A place of complete bliss. Take time to notice the color of your clothes, the environment you are in, any sounds that you hear. Take in the beauty of the place. Feel the calmness, joy, and love that place has to offer. Be there for a moment and whenever you are ready open your eyes. This is your place of joy. Do this exercise couple of times in a day for 10–15 days. First few days, it might take 4–5 min to do this but as you get more attuned to it you will be able to tap in this state in less than 60seconds. Now whenever you feel angry or irritated, just close your eyes, tap into this virtual reality that you created for yourself and get access to instant peace and calm.
2. How exciting
An immensely powerful phrase. Whenever you encounter a not -so -happy situation, try this phrase in a humorous way. E.g.- A Traffic Jam — you look at the jam, get irritated start using foul language, everyone in the car starts sharing your frustration. It just spreads and you feel worse. Instead, take a deep breath and with a grin say how exciting, looks like, these traffic jams love me. Just by saying this there is instant shift of mind as you just made fun of the situation and you feel calmer .After that, if you wish, bring your focus on what you can do to make it even more exciting like listening to your favorite music or having an interesting chat with your fellow passenger.
3. Mind Training
It is natural to get negative thoughts that leads to anxiety, frustration, anger. What if we could stop these thoughts or not get affected by them. Another powerful phrase “Cancel Cancel Cancel”. Whenever a negative thought comes, just say in your mind “Cancel Cancel Cancel”. And bring your focus back on the present. If the thought comes again repeat the phrase and eventually it will stop coming. Remember what you focus on expands. Always bring your focus back to positive thoughts and they will expand.
4. Reframing your thoughts
Another amazing way is reframing your thoughts. The moment we reframe a negative thought into a positive one, it gives a new perspective to the situation. Example: You get irritated when someone calls you careless and end up fighting or bad mouthing. Now reframe the thought of being a careless person to “being a carefree person who enjoys life and does not get bothered by little things”. Just by doing this you feel at peace.
5. Agree to disagree
Every person has different life circumstances, experiences that form their ideologies. Mostly arguments happen because we get attached to our version of life and want people to see and believe it. Example — There is an apple lying on the table one side of apple is completely rotten, brown in color and the other side is fresh with bright red color. The person looking at the fresh side will say it is a beautiful apple and looks appetizing I should have it. The person on the other side might say “it’s rotten and why is it even on the table, it should be thrown”. Both are right in their own way. So, in every argument mostly the issue is that we cannot see each other’s perspective so why argue let us agree to disagree. If you get this understanding you can easily shift to a calmer self.
If you practice these skills, you will be empowered to instantly shift towards a calm and peaceful state of mind.